The Cursed One of Love

Some may call me a coward and a fool, which I am by the way.Yes, I am one of the unrequited lovers. Those who are bound by will and testament to the point of a one-sided affair with the other party, who pretty much have no idea that someone wants her.

Someone once texted me that people who tend to wait for things to happen forget the fact of getting nothing at all in the long run. I for one, never forgot the fact but to shift my identity as the anonymous romantic and become the "known one", well it put tremendous pressure on me. It weighed on my personality as a whole. It 'cramped' my style. And yet, looking back, I was cool with it.

I loved cramping my style. I could be whoever I wanted to be and she wouldn't mind. But I let blind ambition and daydreaming to be a part of my daily existence and the thought of the two of us separating farther than ever before, clouded my mission and vision until I cloaked myself with a false identity. I hated being me and I let myself become a barrier between myself and the one I loved. This is what some might call self-pity but it's true.

The mere thought of the two of us being together was a lot of hurt.

So I let it go. Goodbye my luckless romance. Until next time then.

Why it sucks

Why it sucks having no one in your life to share it with

I don't consider my existence in this abused world as lonely. It's okay for me to be alone. it's understandable when a shy guy is a late bloomer in relationship-oriented activities. I'm just starting to open up to other possibilities. A little overdue, yeah I know but give me a break.
It's not to say that I hate being alone. I get to do whatever I want without embarassing or endangering someone else in the process. I get to sip at an elongated 3-part straw when I drink my Coke and people look at me out of jealousy betrayed only by the fact that they look at me as if I'm crazy. I get to jaywalk on corners that do not clearly state that I shouldn't be walking there.
What sucks are the times when it becomes relatively apparent that I'm lonely. When I wander downtown, I always happen to subconciously go to Rizal plaza. I don't know why. Maybe it's my hidden longing to have someone with me 'cause it's really awkward when you're alone in a place where couples abound. Wait, pangs of emptiness homing in on my upper chest.
... T_T ...
Then get a girl you might say. And then I ask you how? It's like the frog prince asking the brat princess out on a date. No lesson on advanced seduction or inner meditation would help my problem with women. They're alien to me as much as the next Martian. My brain is a cabinet and theirs is the Internet. It's a complex dilemma that not even Stephen Hawking could solve.
I think the notion that it sucks when you have a partner exists because the people behind this have forgotten how boring it is to be single. After all, two heads are better than one even if one of them is half-empty. I think it would be nice to know how it feels like to share your zany ideas and simeon-minded theories to the opposite sex. Sure it's fun with the same gender but it happens so often that it becomes a routine and you'd like a second opinion especially from someone you really like. Don't you agree?
I can make a thousand hundred blogs in Facebook but it would be worth one conversation with a gir who understands what I'm saying and responds to it. Alas I'm not a "babe machine". I'm the one who pairs people up. I'm like THE couple counselor for those men who can't seem to get their game on girls they knew for a few years now but only started having serious feelings for them as time went on. I'm proud of my work, but in the process I feel like a hypocrite since I never really did anything but encourage the 'doods' who feel helpless.
Furthermore my predicament is a conflict of interest between normal and single. Should I stay not normal since normal is really a boring thing to be but stay single since nobody likes not normal guys? It’s so unfair and it sucks. Haha. Oh well, just enjoy your side of the fence like I do.

Just for starters

What do you think? should I continue this?

The Hopeless Romantic

I.

Like in a Shakespearean play she appears, clad in regal gown of vivid red laced with black. Meanwhile, I feel my knees buckle as my whole body shudders in anticipation.  She opens her arms and I greet them with my own. Our embrace lasts longer than I expected and by the time she rested her head on my shoulder, I was content to be locked forever in this position.

Alas, all things come to an end especially the good ones that stop abruptly thereafter. She raises her head, blue eyes locked in brown and she opens her delicate lips to speak. “Jake”, she says. I smile in response to her call. She says it again but this time around I frown; something is out of place. It was her voice, changing in pitch, deeper and deeper, each time she repeated saying my name until it sounded like a bass drum. I could not believe what my ears were hearing. I covered them with my hands and closed my eyes. As soon as I opened them, she leaned closer to me and kissed me with passion. After what seemed like the most disgusting moment in my life, she suddenly let go as magical dust from out of nowhere swept around her from whence she disappeared from view.

“Jake!” ‘Oh God’, I thought, ‘she’s still here’. I focused on the direction of the sound and found myself looking down at my feet. I jumped. It was a toad, one word coming out of its rubbery lips, “Jake!” I took a step backwards and the amphibian surprisingly hopped towards me. I knew that I had only one option left; I ran...very fast. I heard it in and out of my ears, “Jake...Jake” over and over again. As I ran, it was like on a treadmill, I was neither going nearer or farther away from the toad.

I tripped as the whole world shook right before my eyes and shattered in a gazillion pieces. With no ground to support me, I fell into the inky blackness of nothing. Aaaaaaa!